You humans call it Serendipity, which means, I understand, some sort of supernatural happening that connects events in an unusual way. At the same time as you are all panic buying toilet paper, Algy has sent a couple of anecdotes through about this very item, of all things. The Castle, in which he grew up, had sixteen bathrooms, which meant his mother, in spite of having 12 living in staff, felt she had had to personally replenish them with rolls and rolls of paper every week. Thus ensuring that the endless stream of weekend guests were not inconvenienced. She was a most diligent hostess.

It did not take Algy and his sister long to find out that this paper would fly really well. One bathroom, the Tower bathroom, had a window which opened into a walled-in man made well about 80 feet high. The tower can be seen to the right of the above picture with a massive light on top. When the wind was blowing in a certain direction it created a vortex which would fly nearly half a roll of toilet paper to a great altitude. His Mother was not amused to see a number of the ornamental trees around the estate adorned with lengths of this paper.

These days toilet paper is in the news because of you humans are panicking about some virus. Algy two, later in his life, thought that this paper would make a good product for his Church to buy, which led him to study the subject. It seems you humans know a good commercial thing when you spot one, and never fail to take advantage of one another. Consider: Algy found it is hard to compare the value of rolls of toilet paper, they vary in numerical quantities on a roll, the size of sheet also varies endlessly, as does the “ply” rating and the type of material used. Furthermore the distribution is locked in to certain shops by an appointed sole wholesaler. You cannot buy this product direct from this wholesaler – unless you are one of the “anointed” businesses. I don’t think this is what your Bible means when it says to “Love one another”, do you? It seems to be more a clever system of extortion, than “fair trade”. Leading to my rather rude title for this post.

Maybe I’m just a grumpy old Chimp?

Gibber! Gibber!

Chugley

Your Consumer Watchchimp