BANDITRY!

BANDITRY!

My regular correspondent, ‘Sydneysider’, sent through this crie de coeur, with a request for help.

“Dear Chugley,

  • I used to think I was just a regular person, but I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist.
  • I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today’s standards, makes me a fascist.
  • I am heterosexual, which now makes me a homophobe.
  • I am mostly non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.
  • I was christened by my parents (who were married, in a church and remained married until they died), which now labels me as an infidel.
  • I am older than 60 and retired, which makes me useless.
  • I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary.
  • I am proud of my heritage which makes me a xenophobe.
  • I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.
  • I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.
  • I (and most of the people I know), acquired a fair education without student loan debts and little or no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of odd underachiever.
  • I believe in the defence and protection of the homeland for and by all citizens and I honour those who served in the Armed Forces, which now makes me a right wing-militant.

Please help me come to terms with the new me… because I’m just not sure who the hell I am anymore!

I would like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through these seemingly abrupt, new found changes in my life and my thinking. I just can’t imagine or understand what’s happened to me so quickly!

Funny …it’s all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years!

Perplexed.”

This correspondence has not increased my desire to evolve into a human being – rather, it has lessened it!

Gibber! Gibber! The Bandit Chimpanzee

P.S. Perhaps I shall look like this if I evolve into a human?

Chugley.

2 thoughts on “BANDITRY!”

  1. Yep, Sydneysider sees our traditional values changing, as I do too. It’s just as well that my age and life experience help me remain emotionally stable and intellectually secure in these troubled days. Oh well, the Good Book says in the last days, “these things must happen” (Matthew 24:6) and “all these things are the beginning of birth pains” (Matthew 24:8).

    1. Yes, the “Good Book” is my favourite source of information that never seems to change. I have never been able to discern a fault in it, not that I want to. I cannot understand why your human “Primates” often question it? They often say that the earth is millions of years old. It is enough to de-stabilise this monkey! Well done keeping your wings level, Paul. Thanks for your ongoing interest. Gibber! Gibber! Chugley – The Thinking Chimp. If humans evolved from Chimps, why are any Chimps left in the zoos?

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