“I liked ‘em better when they woz

Abbott and Costello” says Chugley

I always thought Costello was a comedian with an offsider called Abbott. Now I remember a former “Treasurer” Costello on Oz TV telling us how he was monkeying around with money – nothing comic here! There’s still a ghastly rumour sweeping the zoo that we are going to be privatised, what horror is this?

Thank goodness they continue to pour funds into the Sydney Taronga Zoo..If  the PC brigade get their way I may have to clean my own cage, get my own bedding and become economically rational by ordering my food on the internet – How ridiculous.

How can I be sure of quality bananas by punching keys on an electric brain? I like to touch the fruit and  see the merchants eyes when I order. I even hear the parrots are having to practice answering the phones, “Press one for the lion enclosure, press two for the rock apes, thank you for calling the zoo, expect long delays….”. Learned it from Telstra, I daresay, a lesson in patience they call it.

If it goes the global way, maybe we’ll become a subsidiary of the Moscow Circus, dislocated from Australia altogether, sold down the river – if they haven’t sold the river water overseas! Putin for Prime Minister?

We might even become a “virtual zoo” and my electronic ghost will be seen wandering the concrete billabongs, the whole thing will be a sort of sanitised de-animalised, de-humanised entertainment centre. Don’t laugh, look how many of my pals are out of work with animals being excluded from Circuses by your animal “lovers”.

The rationalists will say that the only overheads will be connection fees to your internet web of intrigue and a huge electricity bill payable to an overseas company! Why, you won’t even have to leave home to have a zoo “experience”

Can you blame me for not wanting to join your evolving mess? Let me be a dinkum monkey in my New South Wales Zoo, not an evolving comedian’s pawn! Gibber, gibber…